life

What I Want To Do

/ Dianne / Leave a comment

On the heels of my last post, this question popped into my head:

What Do I Want To Do?

If I don’t want to spend so much time on Facebook and random links and other miscellaneous bunny trails, where exactly would I like to spend that time? It’s all fine and good to feel the need to step away from something, but if that space isn’t at least somewhat filled with something else, the default will be to return to the first thing. Nature abhors a vacuum. Or so they say.

So for clarity’s sake, I want to:

      Blog

 

      Make photographs

 

      Learn my new camera better and make better photographs

 

      Catch up with Project Life and work on other scrapbooks

 

      Read more

 

      Continue to declutter

 

    Get outside more

That seems like a good place to start.

At least now, when I tell myself to step away from the internet, I have a direction in which to turn. Seven, actually.

Creatively Dry

/ Dianne / 1 Comment

Just finished reading this article – We’re All Failures.

Wow. She totally nailed so much of what I struggle with. Not all the struggles are identical. But this line in particular…

I’LL SIT AT MY DESK FOR HOURS
ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE, JUST BEATING MYSELF UP FOR BEING SO TERRIBLE AT EVERYTHING.


Kind of how I feel on those days

Yeah. I hate living there. And I do it far too often. The thing is that the internet and its little minions (like Facebook, in particular) mostly suck the creativity out of me. But it’s like a moth to a flame – me being absorbed into not only Facebook, but all the linkage and bunny trails. I go read something which links somewhere else and then I love that person’s writing/ideas/photography/art/whatever so I then spend an hour (or more) trolling the archives since I’ve only just discovered them. I think how cool/creative/artistic this person is and I wish I were equally so.

And then, because I have a tab open to Facebook, the siren call of 6 notifications lures me away. Oh. I’d better go check those. Maybe someone commented on my sunset picture. Or something. Or maybe there’s a private message I *need* to read. Hey, I wonder if this new cool/creative/artistic person is on Facebook? Maybe I should follow. Or troll around their Facebook page.

Wait. Where was I? Why did I sit down here an hour and a half ago?

Sadly, I probably have no idea.

Nor have I likely accomplished much of anything of value.

I hate being creatively dry. But what do I expect when I fill my head with mostly pointless fluff? When I don’t take at least invest some of my online time in something with greater substance and depth? When I don’t give myself time to create. Whatever that may be.

I know what the obstacles look like. I know their names. I know I need to just step away. How do I make that happen? How do I remain engaged yet make the time to pull away and be refreshed and recharged, creatively? Especially when the other problem with the internet gremlins is that they exist in a time warp. It may feel like 15 minutes, but it strangely morphs into 75 minutes. Or half a day. They’re very tricksy like that.

Life will get busier during the holidays, which will automatically keep me away a little more than normal. But I need to create some habits which will better serve me in the future. Habits that include far less time consumed with Facebook, random links, and the like. Habits that will free up some time for creating. Getting outside. Just being.

Instant Gratification Monkey

/ Dianne / 1 Comment

I’ve finally learned why I have such issues with procrastination. It’s all the fault of the Instant Gratification Monkey.

What? You say you’ve never heard of the Instant Gratification Monkey? If you have procrastination tendencies, you’ll want to find a comfy spot, grab your favorite beverage, and prepare yourself for some extensive reading. The guys over at Wait But Why have identified him as the problem behind procrastination. Enjoy their two-part article on How to Beat Procrastination. I’ll wait. On the Dark Playground, maybe. Hopefully not. Hopefully somewhere a little more productive, like the Dark Woods. Or maybe I’ll even cruise along in the Flow. That would be the best.

If you complete that task and make it back over here…without looking at Facebook, checking email again, or getting lost in the Dark Playground, let me know what you think. igm nope

{I hope I’m not in trouble for swiping, er, borrowing this little bit o’monkey graphic here. I’m referring people to their site and their post and giving them all the credit. Given my huge readership, they may add one more reader to their site. I hope. This monkey drawing belongs to the guys at Wait But Why. I’m just sharing the love.}

Thoughts on Downsizing

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It occurred to me that for people who actually get rid of just about everything in order to embark upon a new life, it could be easier to go through the process of downsizing. After all, the tighter the parameters, the less room for indecision. Perhaps I shouldn’t say “easier” because I would imagine it’s still a difficult task.

image

But for people like me, who want to live with less stuff, but the only limitation is whatever I come up with, it can be a very big challenge. My mood and emotions are certainly a factor. Some days, I’m ready to be free of so much of this stuff. Other days, I feel too connected, too indecisive, too unsure of which decision to make.

image

I suppose it’s a bit like forced change. When you must do a thing, you find a way to make it happen. When it’s just self-imposed without external pressure, you’re subject to your own whims and thoughts and feelings and self-discipline, or lack thereof.

I may not have that outside force, pushing me to make this happen, but I will just continue to work around my various moods, my ambivalence, and my lack of discipline to do what I can. Every item gone from our home is a tiny victory, and when combined, they will begin to open up space – both physical and mental. So for that, I will press on.

Some Days I Read

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You know the type? Things are very far from how you thought they might be. Nothing catastrophic or awful, just way off-track.

After I dropped Zach off at work, I called the doctor to get an appointment for him, because he’s had some odd breathing issues. He says it feels like the air is too thick and he can’t inhale enough or exhale completely. It’s happened a couple of times during the past month and was kind of bad yesterday. They were able to get him in quickly – 9:15. So I had a little time to kill. Fortunately, I was prepared with the book I’m currently reading (M.C. Beaton’s The Quiche of Death) and my car is quite comfortable, so I hung out and read for half an hour.

Got him to the doctor’s and back to work and then I headed to the grocery store to pick up his prescriptions (inhalers – his lungs are a bit irritated). I should have been prepared. Every single time I go to the pharmacy, the prescriptions aren’t ready. It doesn’t matter if they were sent over an hour earlier or five. Sure enough, they weren’t filled. It would be about 30 minutes, she said. Fine. I wander around and pick up a few things we need. That only occupied 15 minutes. So I parked in the shade and read some more of my book.

I headed back in, and no, it’s not been filled. She asks if I have an insurance card. No, we don’t have insurance. She comments on the very high price of the prescriptions. The first is $57. Yes, I knew that was about what it would be. The second, more important inhaler, is $202. Oh joy. At first I tell her to fill them anyway. Then I told her to hold off. I called the doctor’s office and had it sent over to Costco. That will save us something.

I finally arrive at home nearly four hours after leaving this morning. Sigh. I had almost nothing planned besides being at home and getting things done. So in the name of productivity, I popped a pizza in the oven for lunch, read my book while eating, and then played Mario Kart with my oldest son. If you’re going to blow your day, go all the way, right?

Somebody got new shades!

On a very happy note, I had a massage in the afternoon, so after a time, I was off again. When I was done there and incredibly relaxed, I realized that the errands I still had to do (pick up prescriptions at Costco, pick up son at his job, stop by Barnes & Noble) were all wonky, as was the time in which to do them. They were scattered far and wide across our fair city. So I went to B&N for a bit and then picked up Zach. We headed up the road to get his prescription, with a stop at Sonic for some cold beverage goodness, as we were both quite thirsty. This took longer than necessary, courtesy of the ugly, messy traffic.

At last, we make it to Costco. This should be easy, right? Zip in, get the rx, pay for it, and leave. Yeah, not so much. It seems that they’ve received the prescription (late this morning, it’s now after 5:30), however, it hasn’t been filled. I need to go talk to someone else. Becca. To the other end to chat with Becca. She and her coworker are quite busy, though (apparently they were short-handed that morning), so I just stand there for a little while until she can break free. The other tech says it’s because he’s a new patient there, so she pulls out his rx, the two inhalers, and some papers, and tosses them in a basket for Becca. I fill out the appropriate form for her and she gives me the scoop on how much this is going to cost. A lot, but less than the grocery store. I tell her that’s fine and assume that I can now sign and pay for them and leave.

Silly me. Now they’ll actually fill it (the inhalers are IN the basket) and it should only take about 20 more minutes.

Awesome.

I’m supposed to be leaving my house in 20 minutes and I haven’t even made it home yet. This is not looking so good. So Zach and I sit on a bench and I read more of my book. It’s my first Agatha Raisin novel and I think I’m beginning to enjoy it. We’ll see.

I did feel the need to apologize to Becca, as I came across a bit impatient flustered when she told me it would only be about another 20 minutes. She was gracious, forgiving me, and letting me know that it appeared the prescriptions were filled. Yippee.

Back to the “Pick Up Prescriptions Here” line to wait behind a couple of other people.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Not so sure I’ll make it to the service tonight.

At last. Our turn. Show the Costco card, sign the screen thingy, pay with the debit card, get the meds, and leave. Of course not. It couldn’t possibly be that easy or quick. It seems that a pharmacist would like to consult with Zach about his meds. Okay, fine.

Over to yet another window to wait for yet another turn. The very nice lady gave us the scoop and at last, we were free to leave. With filled prescriptions!

By the time we got home and I got my stuff ready, I would’ve been at least half an hour late for the Wednesday night service. Sooooo…I guess not. Looks like I’m staying home after all.

Perhaps I’ll read my book.

The Present Participle List

/ Dianne / 1 Comment

week 34

I just read about Cathy Zielske’s monthly Present Participle List. In essence, she makes a list of verbs and then creates a sentence or two which describe what’s going on in life during that month. It would even be cool to do it on a weekly basis, though knowing me, I couldn’t keep up with such a schedule. But I think I want to do this. I may try to do it weekly, to the best of my ability, anyway.

Here we go…not sure if this is a weekly or monthly post yet. I guess It’ll be a weekly series. For now. I guess I’ll work from Saturday through Friday. Although that’s toward the end of one week, which would make this a Week 34.7 post. Or something. Whatever.

Anticipating time with friends; Mexican food for dinner, Starbucks, and photographing old cars

Purging superfluous stuff in the August Minimalist Game

Pondering relationships, my participation (or lack thereof), life direction, getting away from Facebook

Enjoying Aura Cacia Creative Juice essential oil blend in my doTerra diffuser

Studying 1 & 2 Thessalonians in Beth Moore’s Children of the Day

Memorizing 1 Thessalonians 1

Drinking iced chai lattes and cherry dr pepper and chocolate milk and cool lime refreshers

Reading Murder on the Half Shelf by Lorna Barrett

Testing the new mattress set we bought a week ago to determine if it’s the ONE

Stalking Cathy Zielske via her blog. Well, maybe not stalking, but frittering my day away catching up on her life. No, she doesn’t know me, but I love her work, her attitude, her transparency, her creativity. Let’s just keep this between us, though, m’kay? I might scare her.

What are your present participles?