Just finished reading this article – We’re All Failures.
Wow. She totally nailed so much of what I struggle with. Not all the struggles are identical. But this line in particular…
I’LL SIT AT MY DESK FOR HOURS
ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE, JUST BEATING MYSELF UP FOR BEING SO TERRIBLE AT EVERYTHING.
Kind of how I feel on those days
Yeah. I hate living there. And I do it far too often. The thing is that the internet and its little minions (like Facebook, in particular) mostly suck the creativity out of me. But it’s like a moth to a flame – me being absorbed into not only Facebook, but all the linkage and bunny trails. I go read something which links somewhere else and then I love that person’s writing/ideas/photography/art/whatever so I then spend an hour (or more) trolling the archives since I’ve only just discovered them. I think how cool/creative/artistic this person is and I wish I were equally so.
And then, because I have a tab open to Facebook, the siren call of 6 notifications lures me away. Oh. I’d better go check those. Maybe someone commented on my sunset picture. Or something. Or maybe there’s a private message I *need* to read. Hey, I wonder if this new cool/creative/artistic person is on Facebook? Maybe I should follow. Or troll around their Facebook page.
Wait. Where was I? Why did I sit down here an hour and a half ago?
Sadly, I probably have no idea.
Nor have I likely accomplished much of anything of value.
I hate being creatively dry. But what do I expect when I fill my head with mostly pointless fluff? When I don’t take at least invest some of my online time in something with greater substance and depth? When I don’t give myself time to create. Whatever that may be.
I know what the obstacles look like. I know their names. I know I need to just step away. How do I make that happen? How do I remain engaged yet make the time to pull away and be refreshed and recharged, creatively? Especially when the other problem with the internet gremlins is that they exist in a time warp. It may feel like 15 minutes, but it strangely morphs into 75 minutes. Or half a day. They’re very tricksy like that.
Life will get busier during the holidays, which will automatically keep me away a little more than normal. But I need to create some habits which will better serve me in the future. Habits that include far less time consumed with Facebook, random links, and the like. Habits that will free up some time for creating. Getting outside. Just being.